An Orientation of Heart

Shhh....this blog is sleeping.

2011-12-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

Friends, it's time to simplify a bit.
I'm taking a hiatus from blogging and other social media.
You're in my daily prayers during this season that points to divine hope, peace, joy and love.

My best to you.

Picture from here.

2011-11-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

Jan asks us to consider the following as we ready ourselves here in the States for the feast:

1. Where will you be on Thanksgiving Day? With whom?
We're going to drive to my in-laws in southern Illinois and our whole family (DH,FBC,SBC and FBC's delightful darling,plus Lucy the dog and me) will gather with DH's three siblings and many of their young adult children and pups. There will be seventeen humans, I think.

2. Are there any family traditions or memories associated with Thanksgiving?
I make cranberry sauce and cranberry orange relish from scratch. My SIL makes her grandmother's tea rolls. There will be parades to watch and football played in the side yard.
3. What will be on your Thanksgiving menu?
The aforementioned rolls and cranberries, several versions of potatoes, multiples pies, the bird, of course. Tomatoes and dumplings (??) and green veggies. It's a feast.
4. Are you trying anything new this Thanksgiving?
I migrated to the world of vegan eating this summer, so it will be new to me to forgo meat and dairy.

5. What is the weather forecast for this day (next Thursday)?
55 degrees and sunny.
Bonus: Prayer, poem, song, or whatever you choose to exemplify your image of Thanksgiving (giving thanks). John Bucchino's "Grateful" You can listen to it here:

The Things We Do For Love-Friday Five

2011-10-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Songbird invites us to consider the following at RevGalBlogPals today:

1) Something you did for love that was a hit
2) Something you did for love that was more of a miss
3) Something someone did for love of you
4) Something you *wish* someone would do for love of you
5) Something you've done for love of God

1. I spent a whole morning in a used book/music store sifting through cds to create a stack of music from the 60's and 60's for my music loving teenager. He was very pleased.
2. I attempted to make a complicated dish that was an epic fail.
3. Someone called on the phone two days ago just to thank me for serving at the church. IT meant the world to me.
4. I would love to be surprised with a visit from a friend.
5. I've changed bedpans and held people's heads while they wretch, and stayed close by when they are frightened, and stayed up all night with the family of a dying man. I have a lot of stories like these. I believe ministry is organic.

A blog post about a great book

2011-09-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished reading Carolyn Weber's book, Surprised by Oxford. Some books are indeed a joyful surprise. I agreed to read Surprised by Oxford for Booksneeze, and wasn't sure what to expect. Having spent my junior year in college studying at Oxford, I was sure that I would enjoy any references to Oxford in this memoir, but I was not expecting to be captivated by the author's journey to a deeper faith, her blossoming romance, and her wonderful treatment of literature. Each chapter begins with a thoughtful quotation that invites the reader to consider life, faith, love, beauty, meaning. It's a great book.

Carolyn Weber is a Canadian scholar who studied for her master's and doctorate degrees in English literature at Oxford University. Surprised by Oxford is the story of her journey as a maturing person who reverently and thoughtfully considers the "head and the heart" of faith as she pursues her studies. The book provides a lovely balance between her personal faith journey and the rich experience of studying at an ancient and revered institution of higher learning.

One of the strengths of the book is the author's treatment of conversations, especially around faith. Soon after her affirmation of her faith, Weber travels by air seated next to a South African woman named Veronica, and has a deep and helpful conversation that is neither heavy-handed nor filled with cliches. Weber's conversations with her mother are also very compelling, as the author attempts to sort out her feelings about life and her complex relationships with both parents and the reflections they have upon her faith. I thought the exchanges with both women were real, fully, loving and most particularly, thoughtful.

Of course, the centerpiece of the book is her romance with TDH (Tall Dark Handsome), an American student at Oxford who is studying theology. TDH is the person who engages her in ongoing conversations about faith and lives his faith in such a way that Weber cannot help but notice, be intrigued, have questions, arguments and spirited conversations about scripture, about the Trinity, and about redemption. Sometimes overhearing or reading about faith conversations between two people can sound contrived or cloying. In Weber's memoir, neither is true. In fact, like the other characters in the book, the reader is aware of the romance that is beginning between Weber and TDH before the two acknowledge such. It's sweet without being saccharine, and compelling without being "preachy."

Weber could certainly be categorized as a Christian feminist and considers carefully the joys and challenges of relationships of all sorts as her faith deepens. When she affirms her faith (p. 270), it is on Valentine's Day, in the evening, in the historically romantic city of Oxford, and Weber describes her commitment, her feelings, her faith statement, her prayer in less than two pages. It's very compelling.

I was impressed with Weber's expanding, spacious faith and well as her deeply burning questions. She writes, "How can heaven be without those I love most in it? What if this question plagues God too? And yet what if He's already answered it for us?" ("Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.-Joel 2:32) I am at home with Weber's expression of her faith because it is humble and leaves the judgement to God.

I particularly enjoyed these quotes and thoughts from the book. From TDH's father, a pastor, whose journey included time in service as a Green Beret, when asked about the presence of God in the midst of war and suffering "Caro, suffering and violence have the capacity to compress things into an airtight decision. Literally aritight--keeping you from breathing--until you make the choice. Will you join the dark, or fight for the light? That's the warrior's great question. And just ignoring it, or hoping it will go away, or lingering without your boots on....well, indecision is decision, too. Apathy is often the darkest of options."

And this quote, as the author is struggling with stereotypes of "loud" Christians: "Later Hannah (a friend) gifted me with a poignant and funny true story by Joni Rodgers about living with cancer and faith as a wifwe and mother. Her book's titile, Bald in the Land of Big Hair, is hilarious and apt, since the story meaningfully chronicles her hair loss due to chemptherapy while living in Texas, of all places, the "home" of big hair. One of her many wonderful images particularly stays with me. She rightfully rants about her problem with the phrase used when someone dies of cancer, that he or she "lost the fight." "Lost?" she replies vehemently. This is not about "failure" as the world tends to see it. How can anyone "lose," fighting something as insidious as a disease, something so symptomatic of our fallen world? You might as well accuse someone of not dodging a bullet in time. From her strengthened identity in this God who works HIs grace even through cancer, she shows us that the ultimate coming home for those who believe in what this grace entails is far from "losing." Lost, rather, is remained ashamed in the persistently loving face of grace. Lost means not knowing your way home."

I loved this book and am so glad I stumbled upon it. It is a treat, for anyone who enjoys insight into a growing mind and heart. It is, indeed, a book about thoughtful Christianity.

Money Secrets of the Amish- A BookSneeze review

2011-06-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

I was glad to discover this book on the BookSneeze website. Lorliee Craker is an upbeat writer, a mom with young children, and a person with an appreciation for the Plain people. Each chapter contains interesting insights into the Amish culture and people, along with very practical suggestions for saving money.

Chapters on the troublesome aspects of paying on credit and maintaining debt were nothing new, and yet were inspiring. Shopping secondhand, buying in bulk, bartering and recycling all contained reminders of the benefits and joys of living in communities which engage in such practices. If nothing else, I gleaned from reading this book that community living has many, many joys, including the potential for saving money! It is certainly an affirmation of my own personal experience.

The author's deep respect for the faith perspective of the Amish shines through her writing. Her interviews with Amish men and women contained in each chapter are thoughtful, light-hearted, and kind.

It is a warm,respectful book with many practicial applications.

I review for BookSneeze. The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book or advanced reading copy through BookSneeze®. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Reading

2011-06-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to catch up on my reading and I'm having a good time.
Here are some of the books I'm reading right now:

Journey in the Wilderness by Gil Rendle. Our Synod is reading and reflecting upon it. It's a dense read, but very, very interesting.

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson. Part of my summer with Eugene Peterson, I am enjoying this book on the psalms of ascent.

The Life You Can Save by Peter Singer. This is a great book by a renowed professor of ethics at Princeton University and makes a remarkable case for how challenging, yet possible, ending world poverty could be.

Money Secrets of the Amish by Lorilee Craker is a BookSneeze read I'll be reviewing soon. It's filled with good, sensible advice.

Two books by David Walsh, on parenting called No- Why Kids of all ages Need to Hear it and Ways Parents Can Say itand Why Do They Act That Way? Good parenting guidance offered here.

This Odd and Wondrous Calling by Lillian Daniel and Martin Copenhaver. Tremendous book. I appreciate every word.

Hope Will Find You by Naomi Levy. I've long been a fan of Rabbi Levy's writing. This reflection on her daughter's disease and her own response as a person of faith is most moving.

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I'm re-reading this as a place to find writing prompts for 750 words per day. I'm developing a good practice here that is a lot like taking deep breaths to start the day.

The Wisdom to Know the Difference by Eileen Flanagan. I just finished this wonderful book this evening. It is a forthright look at our response to change. I felt as though I was having a conversation with a friend while reading this honest Quaker author's reflections.
That's what I'm up to this week. What are you reading?

My Perfect Morning

2011-06-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

There's a thread on Twitter today called "my perfect morning."
I'm working hard to find bloggable things to share, in an effort to get back on track here.

I'm absolutely a morning person. I love the fresh start of a new day, the dew of a crisp, clear dawn, and the sounds and scents of morning. I love birdsong and lilac, both of which have accompanied me on morning walks lately. I received a new bike for my birthday last Saturday, and I've been out on it every chance I could, even in between rainstorms last weekend.

A perfect morning for me would look a lot like mornings when DH and I were first married and after FBC was born. We lived in Cape May, New Jersey, just two blocks from the Atlantic Ocean and a boardwalk tailor-made for bike rides with great scenery on either side. A perfect morning would include a bike ride at the beach, followed by coffee and bagels at our friends' store, Bodacious Bagels, followed by a bike ride home. Reading the paper at breakfast, chatting with folks, playing with a child were all parts of an idyllic time. I remember thinking just that, twenty years ago: "This is the picutre in my head of a perfect morning."

It still is.

image from visitnjshore.com

Knitting Knee-Highs by Barb Brown A BookSneeze review

2011-05-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

Knitting Knee-Highs (Sock Styles from Classic to Contemporary) is a colorful softback book of knitting patterns for knee-high socks, but that's not all. Each project contains additional patterns so that one can adapt the knee-high version to knit conventional length socks, or anklets or even legwarmers. The introduction to this attractive volume reassures knitters that socks are no more complicated than other projects like sweaters, for instance, and that not much more knitting is required of knee socks than of conventional length socks.

I'm an intermediate knitter, and I believe I'm going to enjoy Knitting Knee-Highs for a long time to come. I chose a simple pattern for my first foray into this delightful book and chose the Stalking Stockings beginning on page 102 as my first project. The directions were clear, and although I am new to reading diagrammed, chart patterns, I found the instructions to be easy to follow. The instructions are in a nice, large font and I didn't need to consult my knitting guru neighbor at all! (She often has to help me with interpretting patterns.)Best of all, I have a beautiful pair of knee-socks to keep or give as a gift!

I would not hesitate to purchase Knitting Knee-Highs by Barb Brown as a gift for anyone who has some knitting experience, and I feel sure that I will knit many of the twenty-one patterns offered, whether as knee-highs or as variations. I would definitely recommend this book to others!

I review for BookSneeze. The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book or advanced reading copy through BookSneeze®. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Life

2011-04-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

It has been a difficult few months. Unbloggable things in my life have made the past weeks most challenging. My faith has been tried, by sanity tested, my strength called upon on what felt like a minute-to-minute basis. I think we have a shred of hope these days. It's been a fierce storm and I feel battered. I do see tiny glimmers of light, though, and this song feels like a whispered refrain:

My life goes on in endless song:
Above earth's lamentation,
I catch the sweet, tho' far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul--
How can I keep from singing?
What tho' my joys and comfort die?
The Lord my Saviour liveth;
What tho' the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night he giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing?
I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smooths,
Since first I learned to love it.
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing;
All things are mine since I am his--
How can I keep from singing?

National Poetry Month- Day One

2011-04-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

In a Country Once Forested

The young woodland remembers
the old, a dreamer dreaming

of an old holy book,
an old set of instructions,

and the soil under the grass
is dreaming of a young forest,

and under the pavement the soil
is dreaming of grass.

Wendell Berry

Young forest photo from here.

Friday Five Quick Picks

2011-04-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

At the RevGalBlogPals site, Kathryn writes:
"We're in the midst of 'it' and I'm hoping that it is not just me who is starting to get a bit overwhelmed. So for today I am asking for five quick picks of things that are good in your life. And as a bonus, 1 pick for a thing you could do without.
If you want to describe them? Great.
If not? That's fine too."

It's not just you, Kathryn. It's the ironic Lenten dash.

Five things that are good in my life include: my sweet puppy, Lucy; signs of spring in the yard (daffodils, crocuses);a good hair cut; great books I'm reading (see yesterday's post; a fairly short to-do list for today.
One thing I could do without? Insomnia.

Spring flowers image from here.

Thursday Thoughts

2011-03-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and am gleaning much from it. Her project (to learn as much as she can about happiness and become happier herself) resulted in a book, a blog and a website,all chock- full of helpful things to think about each day. I've taken a number of her insights to heart, including "dressing the part". Today I'm more dressed up than I would be on a typical weekday, but it's improved my outlook. I've asked for help, which was a difficult thing to do, but most beneficial, and I've gone out looking for small things that light up my day. Today seeing spring green shoots in the gardens at home and at church have been great delights. Spring is springing up, and it's just March 31.

It's Wednesday

2011-03-30T09:03:00.001-07:00

I'm trying so hard to get back to blogging.
I'm writing at 750words.com, which feels like a good practice, but I just haven't gotten back into the habit of posting something here every day.
In an effort to say something, today I am grateful for...

*sunshine, which makes my morning walk much more pleasant
*a great wedding over the weekend. Perfect, in fact.
*Lucy, home from the kennel. I love her so much.
*2.5 pounds lost last week. I'll take it!
*some stability at home. That's good.
*terrific books I'm reading (The Sabbath World and The Happiness Project)
*time away.

That's good for now....

All in a week

2011-03-18T17:23:00.001-07:00

It's been a full week, since I tossed out my resolve to return to blogging.

FBC's last chorus concert tour of her college career was this week, and DH and I hopped in the car and drove to Louisville to hear the concert that was held in this congregation's beautiful sanctuary. It was a splendid concert and it has been so much fun to hear them sing over the past three years.

SBC did not attend because he was singing in his high school solo and ensemble contest. We are blessed to have friends who did not mind transporting him to and from and to school and feeding him and having him stay the night. It was well worth the nervousness of leaving him, because he advanced to the vocal runoff yesterday, and he invited me to come and hear him sing in it, which was a very great treat. He is poised in ways that FBC was not at the same age. He did so very well with his solo and with the junior madrigal group with which he sings.

Today we learned that he advanced to the final, the reward of which is a master class with this person. 146 students participated and ten individuals and two ensembles advanced to the master class. (Note: SBC thought he didn't do very well in the vocal runoff. Both his solo and his work with junior mads advanced him to the master class.)

I would not, for one instant, want my children to be so self-assured as to be cocky, but I do wish for them that they could enjoy their craft and not be so hard on themselves.

In the trivial (but not to me) department: I had foot surgery in November that was supposed to be a walk in the park but turned out to be more involved. When I was preparing for the surgery in November, I hoped that I would be able to wear cute shoes one day. This week, I turned a corner, and was able to find cute shoes that are very comfortable and will work for work and weddings (of which I have quite a few this spring and summer). It is such a joy!

Those are the highlights. In the past few months it has been so difficult to find anything of good report, which is more about my challenge of voicing my gratitude and finding the good than it is about my life. I pray this is improving.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

2011-03-11T06:33:00.001-08:00

I'm planning to come back to the blogosphere, and very soon. The past seven months have been very stressful, and hard to write about, privately or publicly. I know, though, that writing begets writing, and I want to continue to hone that craft. I know that I have special connections with friends out there somewhere, and I want to strengthen those ties. I feel hopeful about getting back to writing, and attempting to do so regularly, but at a gradual pace.

I hope what I write will be worth reading, and I hope it well feel like something hopeful and healing.

It feels risky, to try again. Personal goals have been a bit elusive of late, as the immersion of caring for others has filled up all available space. We shall see.

From the time I was a very little girl, I've had an attraction to Japanese culture.
I pray for the people of Japan today, and everyone who has been touched by the earthquake that rocked the Pacific this morning.
Image of Japanese garden from here.

#reverb10: Assurance

2010-12-24T06:49:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

This is a hard one for me as I live in the tension between faith and uncertainty and anxiety and hope. We've had moments this fall where we experience a tentative calm, but not often.

#reverb10: New Name

2010-12-23T17:13:00.000-08:00

Prompt: New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

I've got nothing on this one. I really like my name...all of it.
My mom named me Jennifer because she liked the named and knew no one with it. These were in the days before "Love Story" made Jennifer a very popular name.

I was named Jennifer Louise, but I kept my surname after DH and I were married because it was my name and I had established myself professionally, and I like my name.

DH and I were married in the days when hyphens were a popular way to celebrate new relationships. I felt just fine about being a three named person.

So that's why it's just fine with me to say, "Hi. I'm Jennifer Burns Lewis."

#reverb10: travel

2010-12-22T04:58:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

Last summer, we packed up a large SUV and our four plus FBC's significant other traveled to Colorado, where we picked up my dad and met 45 folks from the church I serve at a lovely retreat center in Colorado Springs. We drove across the flatness of the Midwest and thought Nebraska would never end. We encounter the biggest black flies everywhere in Nebraska. For fun, we traveled with my colleague and his family, carrying walkie talkies in the car so that the teenagers in my SUV could point out trains and buffalo and other interesting sights to the six and four year old boys in the other car. We traveled well together and the time at family camp itself was wonderful. We really loved whitewater rafting and hiking and looking out every morning on deer as we gazed out at Pike's Peak.

Next summer, I'd like to travel back to Door County, Wisconsin, home of peace and quiet, in my mind, and, if possible, I'd love to travel back to Cape Cod and Cape May, former homes and vacation spots with oodles of memories.

#reverb10: past and future self

2010-12-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

We will be anticipating the year 2016. I hope I will be looking ahead with hope and calm, with grandchildren on the scene or on the horizon, with young adult children who are happy, healthy and whole and contributing to their communities in meaningful ways...and still making beautiful music. I hope DH and I are enjoying good health, work that brings fulfillment and that our lives contain laughter.

Ten years ago it was the end of the year 2000. We were living in a small town, and our children were very young. Life had a greater simplicity, although it was not without its scares and bumps. I think I would tell my younger self to embrace it all...that which was and that which is to come, because faith is real and hope is powerful and the love in my life is trustworthy.

#reverb10:Beyond Avoidance

2010-12-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

I tend to address hard things, sooner or later, because addressing them is usually far less painful or onerous than fretting about them.

I was very anxious about pulling together my Lilly grant proposal, but working with a coach and tackling it piece by piece worked out well, despite the final answer from Lilly.

I have a quilt top that was a grand experiment that I really need to finish. I'm scared that it will look awful. Will I do it? Yes, most certainly, but not before Christmas....

#reverb10- Healing

2010-12-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Healing happens for me with words, without words, with time, with appropriately timed smiles.

The healing I've experienced this year has been gradual-- I love the drip-dry image-- and is fragile, but reassuring.

I'd be grateful for the same kind of healing in 2011...for me and for all I know who struggle.

#reverb10: Try

2010-12-18T05:01:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?

I want to learn how to cross country ski. We have beautiful parks and forest preserves nearby and they're perfect cross country skiing places. I just need the gear...

I tried to be non-anxious in 2010. Epic fail.

#reverb2010: Learn Your Lessons Well

2010-12-17T09:21:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I like this prompt, because like so many of the others, it's a reminder of the importance of mindfulness.

I've learned that I'm more intuitive than I knew. I think that's good. I'm not sure.

#reverb10- friendship

2010-12-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

This one is so easy. Here's the background: DH and I were part of a group of five inseparable friends in seminary. We ate almost all of our meals together. We played together. We did not date each other, but stuck close like glue through all of the pitfalls and celebrations of our early twenties. When one of our hearts got stepped on, the rest were available for support and bad jokes and libations. I have no siblings, but these four people are mine, by adoption. Although friendship morphed into love and marriage between two of the five of us, the rest married wonderful people who are dear friends now as well.

This year, one of the five of us has accepted a brand new call and the lovely side benefit is that he's serving 30 minutes away from us, instead of a time zone and 600 miles away. While he's getting settled and considering housing options, he's staying with us, which pleases us no end. Being housemates once again after 30 years is a fun and funny thing. What I've learned from our friend is that there is something precious about dear friendships that endure over time. I'm experiencing a sense of "picking up where we left off," even though we are older, hopefully wiser, and grateful, grateful, grateful for the time with which we've been gifted.

#reverb10: Appreciate and remember

2010-12-15T05:42:00.000-08:00

December 14 – Appreciate
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

I deeply appreciate the bottomless cup of love and support I receive from my DH. He is a rock and soft place. He is balanced and kind and just funny enough. He is hopeful and strong and practical. He is a gift to our family. I thank God for him. I hope I thank him enough.

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

My first inclination is to write that there are a lot of things I would like to forget about this year, but that is neither realistic nor wise, I suppose. With a little more thought, I'd say that I'd like to remember how much a fat puppy brought laughter back into our home, and I'd like to remember the cool morning air of La Foret, Colorado and the beautiful vistas all around. I'd like to remember how much fun it was whitewater rafting with family and church friends. I'd like to remember FBC's beautiful recital and FBC, SBC and FBC's true love singing at the French Market every Thursday this past summer. Their voices and instruments were blissful to hear. I'd like to remember how good it felt..and feels to have our great friend under our roof while he and his family search for a new home as they become established in a place very new to them. It is good.

Most of all, I'd like to remember what it felt like, once upon a time, to feel innocent, to be carefree, to have hope winning out over fear,to treasure peace.

#reverb 10: from ideas to action

2010-12-13T07:55:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

I know that it's true that it takes action for ideas to bloom.
I don't know what my aspirations are for the coming year.
I want there to be peace in my loved ones' lives.
I am doing all that I know to support that desire.
Everything else would be peachy if peace and hope were real for them.
Everything else would be just fine.

#reverb10 - at one with one's body

2010-12-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Uh....never and no, that I can think of.

As I think about the year that's waning, I'm persuaded that lack of body/mind integration may be part of the reason this year has been so hard. On some level, I have faith that all matter of things will be well, but it seems I live in a steady state of tension and worry. I feel, almost all of the time, like I'm poised at the top of a very scary amusement park ride, and it's not very amusing.

This prompt reminds me that I would certainly like things to be different in the year to come.

#reverb10: Out with the...

2010-12-11T07:00:00.001-08:00

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Eleven things, huh? I can think of eleven circumstances I'd like to eliminate in 2011, or eleven diseases from which I'd like to rid the world, or eleven less than positive thoughts, but eleven things? This is going to take some thought. I guess that's the point of #reverb 10. I think I'm grateful...

1.The Hammond organ in our living room. A gift from the estate of a former church member, our FBC had taken organ lessons and the deceased thought the Hammond, in a beautiful maple cabinet, would be just the thing for her. FBC never really fell in love with it and so it's a pretty big dust gatherer these day.

2.The enormous number of counted cross stitch patterns I've collected over the years. It's ridiculous. I've moved on to other needlework and crafts, and would never have gotten to all of them in twenty lifetimes, even if I had continued to cross stitch every day of my life.

3.Out of date sweaters. Say no more.

4.Six years of quilting magazines I was gifted with by the sponsors of the books sale held at the church. Even a real quilter doesn't need all of these magazines.

5.My college yearbook. I don't really think I need it.

6.I really don't think I need 37 wine glasses in my china cabinet. (But maybe I do. See why I still have them?)

Maybe this prompt is about more than material things.
If so....I'm getting rid of this in 2011:

7.More weight. I'm doing very well in this department, but I can do even better.

8.Putting off learning to cross-country ski. This is the year. I see it coming...

9. Clutter. Mental clutter, physical clutter, you name it. I'm going to address clutter in 2011.

10.Lame excuses. I'm going to hold myself accountable for numbers 1-9. No lame excuses. They're going...

11.Negative self-talk. I'm too old for this. I'm going to discourage it in myself and others.

Image from here.

#reverb 10- Wisdom

2010-12-10T09:50:00.000-08:00

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

It was a wise decision to partner with Liz McGowen for coaching to prepare my sabbatical grant proposal. She quickly became a providential part of my network of support when the unbloggable parts of life grew and grew this fall. She's insightful, creative, a fabulous listener, a social worker, and just happened to know a lot about Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication method at the very time I was seeking more information about NVC.

Although it was not a 2010 decision, it has become increasingly clear that it was wise to accept the call to serve here. We sensed, and learn every day, what a generous, thoughtful, hospitable congregation it is. We knew we were coming to a community with good schools. We learned several years ago that the opportunities for music education were really wonderful. This year, we've been surrounded with all sorts of right people, from Session members to medical professionals, to music teachers, to kind neighbors. Reminded daily that it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes a village to accomplish/survive/navigate and perhaps even thrive.

The Wisdom of the Hummingbird from here.

#reverb10: party

2010-12-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Most of the parties I attended this year have been quiet celebrations-- a friend's 65th birthday, another's cancer-free celebration. It pleases me to have a wide variety of friends, folks of various ages and stages in life. Our godsons turned six and three this year, and their birthday parties were great, giggling occasions. Our children turned sixteen and twenty-one this year, but neither had a raucous bash. From train cakes to great wine and cheese, it's been a nice year of celebrations in between the tough stuff.

#reverb10- Beautifully Different

2010-12-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

This is a difficult reflection for me to consider. I do not think that I'm particularly different. When I was ordained in 1983, it was less usual for women to be ordained to ministry, and I was one of the youngest persons to be ordained to the ministry of Word and Sacrament earlier on the very day that the former UPCUSA and PCUS denominations voted to reunite and become the PCUSA. At 23, being a Presbyterian clergywoman made me different.

Once upon a time, as half of a clergy couple, as co-pastors, I was different, but the world is filled with people like us now. I was the first woman pastor in several settings in which I served, and am the first woman head of staff pastor at the church at which I currently serve. However, I'm about to begin my eighth year here and I don't think folks think "different" when they think of me.

I'm freakishly afraid of bats, however. Does that make me different?

#reverb 10- Community

2010-12-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

Certainly, RevGalBlogPals has provided me with some very special connections and a warm sense of community among clergywomen and friends. I participated in an e-course through Abbey of the Arts this fall, and I think it might have given birth to a new sense of community with the other participants, but it came during the tumultuous fall of 2010, and I didn't avail myself of it.

I've found Twitter to be a great connecting point, 'tho mostly with people with whom I already have a connection. The great exceptions are two amazing resources in Liz McGowen who served as my coach as I was preparing my sabbatical proposal and Heidi Fischbach whose Aardvark Essentials were a wonderful Christmas gift last year.

I have resisted signing up for Facebook, because there's only so much one can keep track of. I feel as though I would constantly suffer from Facebook fail if I signed up, because I don't scrapbook effectively, nor do I take good pictures, nor do I write good Christmas letters and all of those seem to be connected.

Instead, in 2011, I think I'd like to be a better friend IRL and connect with new friends and friends of long-standing. I want to pick up the phone more than I e-mail. I want to write more old-fashioned snail mail letters and notes. I want to meet for lunch or coffee and create and participate in community more deeply in these ways.

#reverb10- Starting now

2010-12-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

I'm in for #reverb 10, but will be writing snippets just to catch up. I, too, need a practice i can learn to maintain. I hope this will be a good start.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
My word to describe this waning year is breathless. A lot of things caught me off guard this year and took my breath away, not in the romantic sense, but in the punched-in-the-gut sense. Early in January our brand new puppy, purchased as we moved through the grief of our old dog's sad death from cancer, was diagnosed with a heart murmur at 10 weeks. Heart surgery and recovery seemed to envelop last winter, and we have a healthy year old golden retriever to show for it all. It was an expensive deal, but totally worth it. The autumn of the year brought frightening and still unbloggable family events that continue to leave me breathless with fear and worry. A hard recovery from what I thought would be minor surgery added more tiredness and the sense of being unable to catch my emotional breath encompassed the last of November, along with a skin cancer diagnosis that I truly did not see coming.
T. S. Eliot wrote of the center not holding. Without being able to catch my breath, my center has felt oxygen deprived. I hope that 2011 holds great hope and the sense of being surprised by joy and breathless with wonder.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
I don't consider myself to be a very good writer. I don't know what it would take to silence that critic.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
I drove from Chicago to Bethesda, Maryland to surprise FBC at her final college choir concert. Seeing her face as I sat in the sanctuary shocked and then alight with pleasure as she spotted me was worth every minute of the trip. It was a great joy.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
We joined the local arboretum as members, which prompted weekly (and often more frequent) trips for walks in the woods and gardens. Witnessing nature changing summer clothes for fall attire was pretty awesome.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
Because of the trauma in our family, I have completely let go of my false sense of security and trust. I'm left feeling profoundly sad and worried, most of the time.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
It's too close to Christmas to talk about the very last thing that I made, but I'm very pleased with how much FBC likes the knitted cowl I made last month. It's a yellow-gold and has a reversible cable. It looks nice and she really likes it. Win.

Thinking woman image from here.

Spoiler: Hold Me Closer, Whiny Dancer

2010-11-18T15:16:00.000-08:00

I should probably spare the blogosphere this tedious whining, but I'm just not in a gratitude list sort of mood.

A week ago I had much anticipated foot surgery-- a total toe joint replacement for my right big toe. I totally under-anticipated the amount of pain I've been in as well as the recuperation time. Perhaps the doctor did as well. When I went for my check-up yesterday, he remarked that he had to do a lot more work than he anticipated,and he thinks the pain and slow recovery are both to be expected. Oh, well.

I did not receive a Lilly Endowment grant for next summer. Other funding sources may yet develop, so we'll see. Nevertheless, I'm disappointed. Oh, well.

Work gallops apace, even without me. I'm grateful for an amazing colleague and wonderful staff, but I'm feeling like a distracted lump. Even though I'm working (kind of a euphemism) with my foot elevated, I feel slow, easily tired and distracted by pain. Oh, well.

The unbloggable parts of life are slowly improving. I do give thanks for this. I do.

Thinking on Thursday

2010-11-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Here's what I'm thinking about on this Thursday:

* How challenging it is to wait for the Lilly Endowment Clergy Renewal Grant news to arrive.

*How rapidly things progress and change and shift in the lives of teenagers.

*How much I love the crisp, cool, colorful fall weather.

*How very much I'm enjoying establishing a practice of journaling daily at 750 Words. Some stuff is just unbloggable and it's a very good place to unburden.

*How much I'm enjoying knitting a pretty golden cowl scarf for FBC.

Fall Break

2010-10-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

FBC is home for a small fall break. She brought a friend home with her--another music major-- but this guy is a composition major with buckets o' talent and a great personality and an agenda for his small break which includes jamming with SBC. It's going to be a nice long weekend around here.

Here's hoping this pretty fall weekend brings simple pleasures and people with whom you like to jam, too.

Fall leaves from here.

Ten things I'm learning while summoning courage

2010-10-13T06:28:00.001-07:00

It's been months since I've blogged, primarily because so much in my life is unbloggable right now. Nevertheless, it's part of my journey, has changed my life forever, and affects not only my mind, but my schedule and my life.

Here's what I'm learning/relearning as my family and I try to meet and get to know a new normal:

Talking helps. Good listening helps even more.
Knowing when to be quiet also helps.
Trustworthy resources make all the difference.
Gratitude is profoundly powerful.
One never outgrows being a mother...or needing one.
Little things make a big difference.
Patience can be replenished with rest.
Everybody has something hard going on, and it's not a contest.
Fear is exhausting and physically uncomfortable.
On good days, hope is one step ahead of fear.

Photo of a quiet spot at the Morton Arboretum.

Dormancy

2010-07-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's time to take a break from public blogging.
Maybe I'll be back. Who knows?

Happy Anniversary, RevGals!

2010-07-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

I'm a quiet part of the RevgalBlogPal community, but I'm mighty grateful for the friendships that have sprung up in my life as a result of beginning to blog about two years ago It's a lovely source of encouragement and friendship and I am blessed to be a tiny part of a great circle.

Happy anniversary, RevGals! Thanks for allowing me to join!

It's all about the love

2010-07-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Jan is asking questions about pets for the Friday Five.
Here are my objective, unbiased thoughts on a topic which holds little appeal for me (ha!):

1. Did you grow up with pets?
I did. We always had dogs, and my first gift to myself when I finished seminary and began my first call was a puppy from the North Shore Animal League. He was a black Lab named Jeff. Later, I adopted a golden retriever named Simon. I married a man with a golden retriever named Padzie. When he died, we bought a golden retriever whom we named Chase. Chase died last October, and....

2. Do you have any pets now?
...in December we met and fell in love with Lucy, our first female and first cream colored golden retriever. She had a heart condition which was undiagnosed when we purchased her, and needed surgery at 11 weeks of age in January. Now it's July and Lucy is perfectly healthy, and our family's great, great joy.

3. What is the funniest or worst thing any of your pets have ever done?
We're smitten. We think everything Lucy does is funny. She's a talker more than a barker, and makes a lot of funny, chatty throaty noises, with or without toys in her mouth that make us laugh a lot. She also puts her front paws on our shoulders and wiggles. Our almost three year old godson calls that a Lucy hug.

4. Who is/was your favorite pet?
Hands down, it's Lucy.

5. How did you train your different pets?
We attended puppy kindergarten with Lucy, which taught us all kinds of cool stuff. We can sit, leave it, lay down, shake, come, roll over... We liked puppy kindergarten.

BONUS: Pictures of a pet or one you wish you could have. Lucy's cousin, last fall.

20 Questions

2010-07-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

I need to get back into blogging. Here's a way, I hope!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I can hardly remember back that far. (It's been a full day.) I think I thought, 'Good. No toothpaste on my black t-shirt."

2. Do you miss anyone right now?
Indeed, I do. I miss my mom. I regret that I didn't take more time to travel to see her in her last years.

3. If you could move anywhere else, would you?
I'd move next door to a Teavana store that was looking for a professional tea tester. Either that, or I'd take up residence inside a Whole Foods Store. I really like their values, plus they have a chair massage place on site.

4. If you could choose, what would your last meal be?
Basil Chicken from Cida Thai.

5. What famous person, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?
Eleanor Roosevelt.

6. What was the last book you read?
In The End The Beginning by Moltmann

7. What was the last movie you watched?
In the theater, Toy Story 3
Netflix: Grey Gardens

8. What was the last song you heard?
Contra by Vampire Weekend (It was on the car. I am the parent of a teenager, okay?)

9. What is your dream vacation?
Chatham, Cape Cod in the off season.

10. What is the next trip you will take?
We're driving to La Foret in Colorado at the end of July.

11. Did you ever go to camp?
Not until I was an adult. I went as a camp counselor to a Presbyterian camp. It was fun. I liked it.

12. Have you ever been in love?
Absolutely, without a doubt.

13. What do you want to know about the future?
Will we see peace in the Middle East in this decade?

14. Where is your best friend?
I have a lovely cadre of best friends. They are in the next room, in Arlington, VA and in southern Illinois.

15. How is your best friend?
They're all well, thank you.

16. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
No comment. That would be gossip, wouldn't it?

17. What does your last text message say?
"Quite the storm here."

18. What are 3 things you've always wanted to do, that you still plan to accomplish?
I want to take my planned sabbatical. I want to meet some long-term personal goals (I'm close! How's that for vague?), and I want hike the Grand Canyon.

19. What is one thing you learned from your parents?
Keep short accounts.

20. What is one thing you hope to teach to your own children?
Love the wonderful person God created you to be.

I got these from Seeking Authentic Voice and Meaning and Authenticity, and I think the rules are that if you copy these from me and answer them on your blog you are supposed to let me know....so off I go to let Mompriest and Katherine E. know...

photo by Getty Images

No lament

2010-05-20T06:27:00.000-07:00

It's a challenge to find the time to write here. I'm working on my sabbatical proposal, due June 21 for a sabbatical I hope to take in the summer of 2011. To that end, I've been spending a lot of my free time working on it, and journaling, so that my coach has something decent to respond to and so that I can work on discerning what to do, where to go,and all the "whys" that accompany a proposal.

FBC's recital was magical! We had such a wonderful weekend and it was glorious to hear her sing and sing and sing. On Sunday evening she was in an opera, which was also great fun.

Between then and now, she's finished the school year, returned home and is beginning summer work as a nanny. SBC is finishing up his school year and it's wonderful having everyone home in the nest. We're looking forward to a happy summer, with a sixteen year old who will be driving and young adults who are happily making music, indoors and out.

More later, I promise.

Chicago image from here.

Heading out...

2010-04-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we're off to FBC's institution of higher learning to enjoy her junior vocal recital, a requirement for graduation for music majors. We're very excited. Grandparents are coming, teachers, friends, churchy types...it's going to be great.
On Sunday evening she's performing in a three person opera. That should be fun, too.

I'm looking forward to three days of family time. Lucy's headed to our favorite kennel for her first experience of canine camping. The weather is lovely.

Hope your weekend contains joy, too!

Photo is of FBC...

Saturday

2010-04-03T06:56:00.001-07:00

Meaningful Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services have provided space and room for reflection and meditation. In my bones, it feels like Holy Week.
Inclining in the direction of the silence of God has been a good practice for me, and I hope for those who availed themselves of our Lenten Quiet Day of reflection on Palm Sunday afternoon, as well as the more traditional services later in the week.

Now it's time to do the work that makes space for Easter joy. Richard Rohr has this beautiful reflection to offer:

The Sabbath rest was the pivotal day for the Jews, and even the dead body of Jesus rests on Saturday, waiting for God to do whatever God plans to do. A sacred pause precedes the New Presence. A new creatio ex nihilo (“something out of nothing”) is about to take place, but first it must be desired, opened to, and longed for. If God gratuitously created me once out of pure love, why not again and again? That is Jesus’ faith, and we are trying to make it our own every day of our lives.
The tomb becomes a womb today, waiting for rebirth.

We wait in hope.

Maundy Thursday Mutterings

2010-04-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

Found this via Sarah at Seeking to Build a Bridge who got it from Unconscious Mutterings. The exercise is explained there. You can do it too!
It works for me as a way to add something at the end of a mighty long Maundy Thursday.

1. Bow out :gracefully
2. Relationships :complicated,life-giving
3. Facebook :Not me. Not yet.
4. Items : on a list of things to do
5. Ours : sacred trust
6. Sting : words; The Police
7. Hangover : once is plenty
8. Contacts : best thing I did for myself (at 50)
9. Lonely : Carson McCullers?
10. Seven days :Holy Week feels much longer than seven days...

Holy Week- Monday

2010-03-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

I can bemoan the fact that I don't blog often enough, or I could make space, at least on my day off, to blog. The latter is my choice.

I'm grateful for the friends I've made through blogging and through Twitter. KT at Halfway to Normal reflects regularly on what she loves, inviting others to create their own love lists. Being grateful and mindful is a pretty surefire way to combat pessimism or an over focus on the glass being half empty. KT's reminders that leaving space for noticing and responding to what we love is vital to a life of faith. Sounds right to me.

In an effort to balance all sorts of responsibilities this week related to the journey to Gethsemane and Golgotha, I've planned to include one grateful response as a way to attend to those twinkling reminders of resurrection life that do not disappear because this is a solemn week.

Today I'm writing a few notes to people I love. Life is fragile, and it never hurts to take the time to tell folks what I know for sure: I love them.

May this day contain rest and reflection for you, too.

Nice note cards from here.

Life in Lent

2010-03-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

I really, really meant to do better and blog more frequently. I treasure my blog friendships and wish I could figure out how to get here and blog with regularity.
I don't feel any better about my IRL friendships. I mean well, but so often catching up with friends takes a back seat to work. I don't do well in the area of recreation, either. I want to knit more, really learn to quilt, enjoy the fabulous city in which I live. I really don't want to be a one-dimensional person.

How do you do it? Do you schedule time to blog and to connect with friends in real life? I've found that scheduling time for exercise is the only way I have been able to build a discipline that comes with benefits. How do you make time for your important relationships?

I say often (almost to the point of boredom) that I am keenly aware of the passing of time. I don't like the feeling that life and time are passing by with little chance to savor the joyful parts...

As I think about the person I want to become, the whole person, who embraces so many gifts from God-- health, friendships,a wonderful family,a good marriage, great kids,a wonderful congreation, a great environment in which to live, a darling puppy-- I want to enjoy all of it more, instead of just being a weary pastor.

That's my reflection, this day in Lent. I see a very weary pastor in the mirror.

Flickr photo.

Good Intentions...

2010-01-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

Really, I had every intention of blogging with greater frequency, but life with Miss Lucy is a lot like life with a toddler. No surfaces are safe. I spend tons of time prying stuff from her mouth (sticks, socks,trash on the street). Unlike life with a toddler, we're out in the frigid cold taking walks a lot . Goodbye, discretionary time.

I've yet to figure out how to transfer photos from my phone (where I have many picutres of Lucy) to the computer. One day I will. I was on a roll with fifty things I was going to accomplish this fiftieth year, but that's gone by the wayside. I have several unfinished knitting projects and have much less time to read for pleasure. However, we have a happy, healthy fifteen week old puppy who is thriving.

And I'm getting in lots of aerobic exercise.

photo of one of Lucy's kin.

Remembering How to Breathe and Blog: Home and Haiti

2010-01-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

It's been almost a month since I've blogged, and I feel really rotten about that.
It's been a rugged road since December 12, filled with joys and concerns of epic proportions ( at least that's how it feels to me.)

On December 12, DH and I met and fell in love with an eight week old golden retriever and scooped her up in our arms and carried her home. She's the third golden retriever we've owned, the first cream colored golden we've had, and the first female. It was love at first sight. Her name is Lucy. (You'll recall that we've been missing our 13 year old golden, Chase, who died in October.)

On December 18th a remarkable woman in our congregation passed away quite suddenly. She was our Clerk of Session, and also one of the most creative, encouraging people I've ever had the privilege of serving with. She had so many best friends. She was just 59 years old. I am honored to have been one of her pastors. We had her memorial service on December 22.

We took a little trip to southern Illinois from the 25th til the 28th to visit family. Lucy was a big hit, especially with the extended family's grown-up shelties, labradoodle and golden retriever.

On December 28th we took Lucy for her first appointment with our vet, who diagnosed a heart murmur, of the grade three sort. Turns out that there are six grades, with one being innocent and outgrowable and six being very severe. We were referred to an animal cardiologist, whom we saw on January 5th at a specialty veterinary hospital 45 minutes from our home. Dr. W did an ultrasound and diagnosed Lucy with PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus)which is a common heart defect in dogs, but rare in goldens.

On December 31,one of our most vibrant deacons underwent quadruple bypass surgery. She's in her early 50's. At this point, the foundation of my faith felt a little unsteady. Thankfully, she is doing well.

On January 5th, my dad came to visit for four days. I'm sure he felt like he had walked into a daytime drama. Still, it was wonderful to have him visit.

On January 10, I drove FBC back to college and returned home in a snowstorm. I don't heart lake effect snow.

On January 11, Lucy underwent heart surgery at the specialty hospital 45 minutes from our home. She came home yesterday, having done well. Today was spent carrying her up and down stairs (doctor's orders for the next two weeks) and trying to be a calming presence as she expresses her dismay with the cone of shame she must wear to prevent gnawing at stitches. A colleague at work commented to DH, "You must really love that dog", alluding what he correctly assumed was the significant cost of her surgery. DH replied, "Sure. And when I thought, "New car or save smebody's life?" it was not a difficult decision at all."
I think Lucy's in our lives for a reason.

Today we've watched and listened to the news with heavy hearts for the people of Haiti. I've long been a supporter of Paul Farmer and Partners in Health and the Presbyterian Church (USA) has had an historic commitment to the people of Haiti. God, have mercy.

In 2010 I'm going to learn how to upload pictures from my cell phone. I want you to see Lucy grow. This is not Lucy, but someone who looks just like her:

Up In the Night

2009-12-12T00:02:00.000-08:00

Nearly always when I pray with individuals or families, groups, colleagues, I pray that we will sense God's presence. Whether in worship or going about one's daily rounds,sensing that one is not alone, but accompanied, feels important to me, and, I sense, to those with whom I pray.

I'm up in the night tonight, praying for and thinking hard about those with whom I had close contact today. I'm aware that the day didn't bring miracles or even peace, and that they and/or their loved ones may also be awake this night, anxious and fearful.
Affirming that God is present and experiencing it are two different things.
Still, it's a heartfelt prayer, that we will sense God's abiding presence, and it's a prayer for all who watch or weep this night.

Fragile Time

2009-12-11T12:18:00.001-08:00

It's been a busy morning of pastoral care and pastoral visits.

Three hospital visits and one nursing home visit later, and I'm keenly, keenly aware that many people are fighters (in the resilient, look-life-straight-in-the eye sense) and that still and yet, life is fragile and changes in a heartbeat.

We make plans... and a lab report can rearrange everything.
We have an agenda...a schedule... and a pulse rate, a fainting spell, a suspicious blood pressure reading can set that agenda on its ear.

It's been a morning and afternoon of good, intentional conversation about what matters most to folk. Some of the news is good; some of the news is hard; all of the news reminds me of this quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn:

Perhaps it is time for us to own the name we have given ourselves as a species, Homo sapiens sapiens--the species that knows and knows that it knows to own our own setience and literally and metaphorically come to our senses while there is still time.

Life is fragile. Time is fleeting. God is present.

Photo from here.

Want To/Have To

2009-12-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

I'm working on an e-course by Lisa Gates of Craving Balance called Fifty Two Times Two. I'll be creating a good practice of addressing two goals per week, which should lead to some pretty amazing results.

The process of selecting goals to address has left me thinking about "want tos" as opposed to "have tos" in our lives. I'm great at addressing "have to" items, but not so great at making time for myself. I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this...

To what extent is postponing personal goals in favor of the needs of others gender-based? How much is it informed by a good ol' Protestant work ethic and self-deprecation?

What informs your goal-setting and how well do you achieve your goals?
Inquiring minds want to know...

Balanced Stone image found here.

Keeping it Simple-Friday Five

2009-12-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

Sally asks us to list five things you won't be doing to prepare for Christmas.

We won't be doing outdoor decorations, except for a wreath on the front door.
We won't be having any out-of-town family with us for Christmas this year.
We won't be having an open house for the congregation because we did so in November.
We won't be sending as many Christmas cards this year.
We won't be making those little quick breads for last-minute gifts.

Oooh....we sound like Grinches. I hope we're going to be asked what we will be doing....

Another perspective

2009-12-02T07:37:00.000-08:00

I live right down the road from an order of the Congregation of St. Joseph. They are persitent advocates for peace and justice and have a ministry of the arts that is inspiring. This comes from their most recent newsletter:

The mention of Advent always stirs thoughts of waiting. . .
waiting for Christmas.
We Theologians always speak of reflecting on the three ways of Christ's coming: in history in Bethlehem,
in the daily events of our lives, and the second coming in the future.

I've been thinking that we've got it all wrong. We need not wait for God. God is always present, always with us. That's what the name Emmanuel means: God-with-us. And, that's the primary truth we hear in the Scriptures. God created us, and calls us into relationship. God is indeed present with us, and especially in the person of Jesus the Christ.

No, this Advent, I've come to see that it's GOD who waits for US. . .

. . .waits for us to notice that we are indeed created by God.
We are born with unique gifts and qualities
as well as deficiencies and lack of qualities.
God only sees our goodness, and waits for us to notice too.

. . .waits for us to notice the myriad ways
in which God is with us, always.
We know the Creator in the beauty and amazing capacities of creation, both earth and human. We know the Creator when we experience love. We know the Creator when we can not explain or understand mystery.

. . .waits for us to notice when we observe people acting in the image of God: in covenant with one another, both those known and unknown, both those alike and those very different.

. . .waits for us to notice the emptiness in our hearts
that can only be filled by God's own Self.

. . .in the season of Advent, as Christmas approaches, God waits for us to notice the wonder and innocence of little children. How God must long for us grownups to be more like them, without guile.

It is true that in Advent we wait; but really, it is God who waits for us.
May we savor and revel in that reality.

Sallie Latkovich, CSJ

Anybody home?

2009-11-24T14:18:00.000-08:00

FBC got home last night. She brought two darling friends and the laughter and easy fun began immediately.

SBC is one busy athlete, doing impressive things as a second year wrestler. I'm not crazy about watching wrestling, but it does provide some great knitting time when I can't bear to watch.

DH seems to have recovered from a bout with a flu of undisclosed variety.

Blogging seems to have taken a way back seat to work, Thanksgiving planning, tweeting and more. I'm working on a little thing for National Novel Writing Month, and am trying to exercise more. So many practices, so little time...

Happy Thanksgiving to you. I'm grateful for my blogging friends, even though I'm consistently inconsistent in my practice.

Noro Silk Garden and Worship Alive

2009-11-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

I've found wonderful yarn to make a scarf to give as a gift this winter. It's a treat to work with and is creating a lovely stripe that's very pleasing.

I'm grateful to have this project to work on as I sit indoors on this blissfully beautiful fall afternoon. Our congregation co-sponsors a series of workshops on fostering creativity in worship. This afternoon, Mark Miller from Drew Theological School in New Jersey is our guest.

Should be a nice, productive afternoon.

Weary

2009-11-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

SBC was part of a benefit concert last night for this group. It was a great evening of music for a great cause. I was so proud of his poise and commitment and my mama's heart was delighted to hear him sing and play songs I'd never heard him perform before.

Unfortunately, I feel too weary to blog.

I am so tired of energy-sapping stuff at work, in the world, in life.

I'm way out of kilter. As wonderful as last night's event was, it's not enough of an offset for all of the yuckiness and the pervasive feeling in my gut that keeps me stuck in sadness. Breaks from sadness are nice, but it's so hard to keep returning to a place that is furnished with loneliness and joylessness.

Time for something different, but I don't know what that might be.

Traveling Mercies

2009-10-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a full, busy week here. The congregation I serve has a new partnership with a sister congregation in Cuba and their pastor is here visiting for a week. She is a delight--a second career pastor who had previously been a veterinarian (waving at Purple!)and is doing a great job of working on her English while she's here. She is warm and animated and we've had a wonderful time getting to know her. We've had a steady stream of meetings and visits and it's been a truly fun week and has prompted us to think in new ways about our parntership and how wonderful it would be to send another group to Cuba before too long. We had a pair of people visit a year ago..She'll be preaching on Sunday while my gang heads to Ohio for Family Weekend. She leaves on Monday for Atlanta and Miami before returning to Cuba.

I am particularly excited about this weekend because my in-laws will be joining us for the fun. DH's parents are the best--we used to live just blocks from them for 7 1/2 years (what a gift of time that was!) and my mother-in-law became one of my best friends. We haven't seen them since Christmas for more than a day, so this will be a nice treat. I know that FBC is looking forward to showing off her dry-witted grandfather and sprite of a grandma to her pals.

I have books to read in the car and a strong desire to visit here and here and here while we're there. Additionally, we'll be attending this and this and this.

Can't wait!

Blog Action Day

2009-10-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

The Climate Project offers presenters for groups and great ideas for sharing the urgent message that our planet is in peril.

The Regeneration Project is a great resource for green products for faith communities and their members.
The resources page contains particularly useful materials for faith leaders.

Wednesday

2009-10-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am most blessed to have such a fine cadre of blogging friends who check in and care and offer prayers and send virtual hugs. Thank you so much.

Monday turned out to be a very quiet day. I spent some time at home and some time at the public library. Tea played a prominent role in the afternoon.

I'm reading a number of books for fun and with an eye toward some of our study groups:

The Faith Club makes a great contribution to interfaith dialogue and would be especially interesting to read with an interfaith group. A Thousand Splendid Suns is a very compelling story, and An Altar in the World is another book worth discussing with others. I'm getting read to read Acts of Faith. I think Eboo Patel and Interfaith Youth Core make an enormous contribution to interfaith understanding.

logo is from Interfaith Maine

Monday

2009-10-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

I try hard to take Mondays off.

On this cold, crisp Monday morning, I'm going to take my usual walk, do several loads of laundry, read, write and knit. It will be a relaxed day, hopefully, and the time will go by quickly.

Positioned for gratitude, I'm going to be open to pleasant conversation, intriguing reading, birdsong, hot beverages.

Anything to move out past the lonely, quiet house and a heart that still mourns other losses in addition to a good, good dog.

This Too Shall Pass

2009-10-09T15:28:00.000-07:00

It's rainy and overcast and cold here again today in Chicago and my spirits are much the same....dreary and overcast. I officiated at a wedding this afternoon and had my game face on, but it was hard work. Tomorrow's memorial service will provide a similar kind of challenge.

No need to respond.
Just a quick post from the Slough of Despond.

A dreary day, a dreary post

2009-10-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

It's a little tough to be gentle with oneself when the next twelve weeks are ridiculously full. The fall financial campaign for the coming year is in full swing, a significant shortfall in this year's giving has created stress for weeks now, a major church celebration is brewing in November, high holy days are on the horizon. A full, full church program schedule and a ton of pastoral care all lead me to wonder if I'll ever get any time to myself for the rest of the year. It would probably be therapeutic, but doubtful. Sometimes I wonder if this is the life I would create for myself if I felt as if I had any say at all.

I told someone that, right now, I feel like a poorly constructed paper towel...neither strong nor absorbent. Everything makes me tear up-- planning adult education, thinking about meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings. I'm very adept at crying.

Tuesday was sort of a perfect storm of events-- realizing that Chase was too tired and sick to go on and having to drive FBC back to school and being the Queen of Hormones (too much information?) have left me weary and rather shredded. FBC loves school, is happy, healthy, doing well. I give thanks. But it's still hard to drive for 6.5 hours in one direction, drop her off and head for home. She's so fun to have around and provides a lovely change of pace from the endless conversations about sports that frame DH and SBC's dinner table conversations. No daughter at home. No dog, either.

Upon returning from Ohio yesterday afternoon, I was confronted with how different our daily routine is. No big dog to greet us at the door. No walks with lots of stops for sniffing trees and lawns. No jingly dog collar creating a good sound in the house. No need to prepare special food, or any dog food, for that matter. We have fifteen extra minutes in the morning.

I'd give up that extra time in a heartbeat.

Good Dog Chase

2009-10-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

We are dog people. DH and I have had dogs all our lives.

Chase was our 13 year old golden retriever.
We adopted him as an eight week old puppy when our children were seven and three. He was a very spirited pup and an active dog for nearly all of his adult life. He was a big guy; nearly eighty pounds at his biggest, and he was spry and loving. He was good at chewing and playing tug, caught tennis balls and Frisbees like a pro, and was especially adept at forcing his big head under an unsuspecting hand or arm to demand petting.

For the past six weeks, Chase had been struggling. First he was off his feed, then we started noticing slowness and muscle weakness. The vet became a regular contact. He had lost a significant amount of weight. DH and I prepared his food from scratch for the past month-- rice and boiled chicken, ground beef and pasta, anything to get him to eat. He seemed to rally just a bit, but only for a week or so.

This past weekend FBC was home for fall break, and Chase seemed to grow worse daily. He stopped eating anything significant on Friday.
FBC stuck close by him, trying to feed him by hand, and resting on the floor next to him, petting him and even praying with him. It was a beautiful laying on of hands.

By Sunday, Chase needed help up and down the stairs. On Monday, he had some trouble walking back to the house after a short walk outside. Yesterday morning, he could not support his own weight. Tearfully, FBC and I had to leave in order to take her back to Ohio to college. DH and our good friend took Chase to the vet for his last visit. Now we are mourning the loss of a family member, smelly and sweet and so, so loving.

We miss him so much. He was such a good dog.

This is not Chase, but someone who looks a lot like him.

Friday Five- Holy Thoughts

2009-10-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

Sally, having had a remarkable experience, invites us to ponder these questions:

1. A place that holds a special memory?
I love the beach, and spent summers growing up here. DH and I spent the first three years of marriage living and serving in a beautiful place. As a baby, SBC took his first steps here. The sound of the ocean and the feel of sand in between one's toes is evocative for me.

2. A song that seems to usher you into the Holy of Holies?
Et Misericordia from Rutter's Magnificat. Does it every time. Here's a link.
3.A book/ poem/ prayer that says what you cannot?
The invitation to communion in rite A of the Wee Worship Book published by Wild Goose. If it's not familiar, here's a link, and you can find it if you scroll about halfway down.
4. How do you remind yourself of these things at times when God seems far away?
Music, walks in nature, quiet time,reading, and I keep a file of notes and letters and anecdotal things that speak to nearness when it's hard to feel or describe.

5.Post a picture/ poem or song that speaks of where you are right now in your relationship with God...

Blue Rose picture from here.

Anticipation....

2009-10-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

Despite the sad lyrics meshed with a boppy tune, Bette Midler was right; you've got to have friends.

I'm grateful to those who shore me up when the emptiness I feel is not so comfortable. I'm grateful for my family, for although I'm such a goofy work-in-progress, they refrain from banishing me to some dark corner. I'm grateful for amazing work colleagues who are authentic and trustworthy and care deeply. I am grateful. Empty feeling, but still quite aware of all that is of good report.

Fall break begins tomorrow afternoon for FBC; she'll be home before midnight and we'll have four whole days with her. I think I speak for many when I say that she's sunlight. Can't wait!

Thinking Out Loud

2009-09-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

So many of my friends are grieving losses, are anxious about life and work, are struggling with work-life balance, feel victimized by the world around them.

I feel at a loss, because words seem so inadequate. I visit, I call, I stop by, I e-mail, I write good, old fashioned notes, take casseroles, and listen, listen, listen. I wonder if people expect more. Sometimes I sense that they want answers. What is God up to? Where is God? Is God? I don't have answers that feel right. I believe, but I also know about feeling very far-removed from God. Sometimes I sense anger directed toward me because I can readily affirm that life is messy, and sometimes that is all. Words seem so...limited.

And I feel like a empty-handed crafter, a inarticulate spokesperson.

Empty vessel from here.

Passwords with meaning

2009-09-24T14:43:00.001-07:00

For some reason, my computer demanded a newer, stronger password. Because I've long used a memorable (to me) password that has no real meaning, I decided to select a memorable (to me) and meaningful password. I've been using it for about a week, and it's becoming a bit of a a practice or discipline.
Now, instead of typing some random letters and numbers, I type myself a recurring message that invites mindfulness and stress release.

And think of the possibilities! If I wanted to, I could reinforce all kinds of things with passwords such as:

howaboutalatte
nothingbeatsgreatshoes

or the mantra I'm repeating to myself when I or others utter words that really don't help achieve world peace:

parkyoursnark

Taking the Time

2009-09-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

A new program year in the church brings with it all kinds of challenges. Yesterday, these were mine: how to entice new participants to give Sunday School or Adult Education a try; trying to fit in lunch when the day is already full with teaching, preaching, pastoral care and attending important events like our chancel choir director's marvelous two piano program and a wiffle ball event sponsored by our parents of young children's group; taking time for worship myself.

Nestled in the day for me yesterday were two gems: our morning edition kick-off was a readers' theatre production of Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury and a showing of the award-winning 2007 film Silent Light. In each, we were offered the opportunity to slow our pace, to reflect upon minute details, to see the world from the perspective of someone very different, and not unlike ourselves at all.

Whether watching eight amateur actors adopt the beautiful words of Ray Bradbury as he reflects upon his childhood in the summer of 1928, or watching first-time actors in the compelling film about a Mennonite man in north Mexico and his tormented life, both offered the chance to be still, to be observant, and to be mindful. I left each so thankful for the blessed opportunity to pause, (for every day is busy and packed), and to recall the essence of beauty, the power of redemption, and the complex nature of very simple things. It was worth all of the rushing around yesterday to take the time to slow down-- twice! And from the feedback, it sounds like others who attended one or the other or both agreed.

Up and Down the Staircase- a Friday Five

2009-09-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

My friend Jan reminds us of a classic A.A. Milne poem, which I've loved forever and asks:

"Thinking of your childhood as a stairway, when did you feel (and how did you feel then)

1. at the bottom?

2. at the top?

3. halfway?

4. At this point in your life, where would you place yourself on your own stairway?

5. Identify a place for you that "isn't really anywhere" but 'somewhere else instead.'"

This morning I dressed for work and put on one of my mother's rings and her gold charm bracelet, which is jingling even as I type. Since her death in April of 2008, I've worn some piece of her jewelry nearly ever day. It's a connection with her that means a lot to me. FBC does the same, and that makes me smile. My mother and my daughter play a big part in where I place myself on my stairway.

As an only child who grew up in the same household with my mother, my grandmother and my aunt, I was treasured and nurtured in ways that have served me well all my life. I grew up in this old Victorian home, which became the model for this. It has a huge staircase that was great fun to bounce down, stair by stair, as a small child. I felt like a top-of-the staircase kid, dearly loved and cherished, surrounded by affirmation and the mantra that I could be anything I wanted to be. The women in my life were all successful in their careers, and I grew up knowing that families may not all look the same, and that what was most important was love. I can't ever remember feeling as though I was at the bottom of the stairs as a child. I do remember leaving for college at a time when my mother had remarried, my grandmother was growing older and less healthy, and my aunt had physical and emotional challenges and certainly feeling as though I was halfway--neither up nor down--- and exhilarated to be heading of to college, happy for my mother, and worried about my grandmother and aunt.

These days, I'd say I'm still in the middle of the stairway, but happily so. I'm happy, fulfilled in my work, my family is in a great place, and I'm treating this year as an opportunity to take good care of myself, form new goals for my personal and vocational life. I still miss my mother every day, but there is much in life that is blooming and growing and it's a joy to bear witness and to participate in creative ventures with delightful people, including FBC, SBC and DH, colleagues and friends at the church I serve, and family and friends far and wide.

As for a place that "isn't really anywhere" but 'somewhere else instead,'" I'd choose my daily time of meditation. I'm really, really enjoying taking a class on meditation and discovering a very helpful practice!

Staircase is in the Braemer house, Edinburgh, Scotland.

Easy come, easy go

2009-09-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

These are busy days, and they're fraught with angry voices.

A friend talked with me today about her call process, noting that her presbytery of care had written all candidates a note saying, in effect, "Times are tough. Are you sure you want to be a minister? Have you thought about other possibilities?"

Great....

The health care reform debate seems to be granting people permission to be rude and uncivilized in their conduct. What are we modeling, as adults, when we name-call, accuse, form an opinion before allowing another to speak, are hostile and unbending?

One friend calls it a culture of discouragement. Another writes of a climate of incivility.

Surely the church can play a role in offering a different voice, a different climate a stance that befriends the weak and helpless, that tries out grace and finds it to be a roomy path.

Surely.....

Flikr photo

Mindfulness

2009-09-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a wonderful long weekend away with my family, completely refreshed by the pleasure of their company, lovely weather and a relaxed pace.
Now, as we start a new school year, a new program year at the church, I am grateful for renewed energy. A friend at a women's luncheon read a Sarah Ben Breathnach quote about September resolutions and about how sensible they are. She writes elsewhere that "Gratitude is the heart's memory."

I have been mired in grief for so long. I know others who are, and healing takes a lot of time. I am, however, finding it so helpful to pray and I see all sorts of good things springing from prayer and keeping track of that for which I am grateful.

I am grateful for much. I have wonderful, healthy children who are thriving. I have a supportive and loving spouse who has meaningful work. I serve a wonderful community of faith and have remarkable colleagues. I am grateful to have the opportunity to befriend myself, and I am grateful to Jon Kabat-Zinn for that phrase.

Long Weekend Celebration

2009-09-04T07:32:00.000-07:00

DH and FBC have birthdays this week. We're celebrating those and the long Labor Day weekend by resting from our labors (we're so glad that we have labor from which to rest!!) and from school work (SBC has had a very impressive first two weeks of 10th grade) by heading to see these folks (and our girl) at their first home football game (FBC is one of the marching band managers):

Have a wonderful weekend!

An important read

2009-09-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

I think this post by Brian McLaren is a timely and important read.

Friday Five: Affirmations

2009-08-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

Singing Owl at RevGalBlogPals writes:

Lately I seem to be encountering many people who have a very difficult time finding anything good to say about themselves. They are able to extend grace and forgiveness to others but find it difficult to extend that same grace to themselves.
With that in mind, let's share some healthy affirmation today! Tell us five things you like about yourself!

1.I'm a good listener.

2.I'm a quick study.

3.I'm emotionally flexible. (Physically, not so much.)

4.I am good mediator.

5.I make a fine cup of tea.

Images from here,here,here,here,here, and here.

Friday Five: The Rules

2009-08-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

Jan offers today's thought-provoking Friday Five on rules and expectations. As a parent raising teenagers, I'm reminded on a daily basis of the norms, spoken and unspoken, of family/communal life.

Here are her questions and my thoughts:

"...how about writing about rules in your families and workplaces? Choose one or more for each category, especially if one seems odd or funny to you now."

1. Formal rules in family of origin
I grew up in a family full of women. My mother, aunt and grandmother raised me. We made lots of mistakes, certainly enabled some less than desirable behaviors, but mostly lived by the rules "Don't let the sun go down on your anger" and "Love makes room" and...
Put your napkin in your lap.

2. Unwritten and unspoken rules in family of origin
Don't be passive-aggressive. It's unattractive and unloving.
Call before you visit.

3. Formal rules in current family or workplace
Come have fun at the February staff Christmas party. (We work for the Church. Who has time for a Christmas party in December? Or January, for that matter?)

4. Unwritten rules in current family or workplace
In my workplace, all of our office doors are open, unless we're in a private meeting. Either way, always knock and pause before entering an office.

5. When was a time that you became aware of different rules in different places/families than your own?
The family into which I married lives by drop-in visits. That was new to me.
I learned to like it... (kind of...)

Responsibility vs. Blame

2009-08-19T14:34:00.001-07:00

A number of women authors keep me honest about work-life balance--- or a phrase I prefer: work-life harmony-- and I am grateful for their sensitive, warm and humorous observations.

I've already written about my admiration for Patti Digh. I enjoy Jennifer Louden's writing and Victoria Moran's as well.

For about a month now, I've been attending to nutrition and exercise diligently and with good results, some behavioral and some physical. I'm losing weight like crazy, I'm working on the Couch to 5k program, and best of all, I feel so much more sane. I am happier, have more energy,and am far less prone to mood swings.

In one section of Moran's book, Fit From Within, she writes of the importance of taking responsibility rather than placing blame and the profound difference between saying, "I take responsibility for my life" versus "It's all my fault." I'm thinking a lot about those words as I consider my own habits, newly forming and reshaping, as well as the difference blame and responsibility have for our society and our world. At home, at work, in our communities of faith, in our interfaith conversations, in the political realm...oh, such a difference between responsibility and blame.

It's food for thought...and prayer...and dialogue.

Great graphic from here.

The Last Day of July

2009-07-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

Summer feels like it's galloping by. Our kids are busy (work and mission trip), a giant three day concert comes to town in two weeks and they are psyched, and then it will be time for FBC to head back to college. DH completes his first full week of work (again, we give thanks)and I have a wedding for a delightful couple tonight.

I've read some terrific books lately: Autumn Gospel and Winter Grace by Kathleen Fischer and Sin Boldly by Cathleen Falsani have all made me think. I could not put down The New Jew by Sally Srok Friedes, her memoir of converting from Catholicism to Judaism. Right now I'm reading purely for fun: The Wildwater Walking Club, Home Safe, and Prayers for Sale. I'm hoping for some quality time this weekend to sit outside and read.

Hope you have some dog days of summer time on your calendar, too.

Image found here.

Feels Like New Year's

2009-07-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

Today's an exquisitely beautiful day here in Chicagoland. It's sunny, warm and the sky is cloudless. DH is at his first day of his new work, FBC is at her job, SBC is on day 2.5 of his first mission trip. He and sixteen others from the church I serve are in Eastern Kentucky with Appalachia Service Project.

Today is the first Monday I've had off in quite some time. I began it early, by taking DH to the train. "You seem really excited about this," he said, and I realized I was. I grew up in a suburb of New york City and commuting on the train was a really big part of my family's life. I remember the fun of waiting for my family members to return home on the train, signaling the beginning of evening and family fun. Less romantically, I'm pleased that the new job brings some stress relief without an hour-long drive each way. When DH is in the city, it's a quick, twenty minute train ride and a short bus ride, or a longer walk, from Union Station to his new office on Michigan Avenue.

Today feels like a fresh, new start. It's so nice to having DH off pursuing meaningful work again. It's so nice knowing that our kids are off doing meaningful things as well. Today has been a good day for life-work balance, for sitting quietly, for taking a good thirty minute walk and reveling in some new itunes, for having time to plan a delicious dinner for the family when all return.

And I'm going to meet a 6:04 p.m. train...

Happiness and Relief

2009-07-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

It is such a happy thing to be able to write this:
DH is newly employed!
We know that there are folks who've endured a job search for much longer than six months and continue to struggle in this struggling economy. We know that there are folks who've had both family members unemployed at the same time. We have been very fortunate to have an income, a home to live in, and a supportive community as he has searched.

We're happy that it's a job he will enjoy and to which he feels called and will keep us in the same community.
We're thankful that we can begin again to be responsible parents as we save for our second child's education.
We're thankful that the future, once again, has focus and clarity.

We are so thankful.

Polenta

2009-07-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

One of my goals during this year of being 50 was to prepare polenta, which I accomplished this evening. I used an Alton Brown recipe from the Food Network (see below). It was pronounced delicious by all who partook.

I wonder what took me so long to try this? I was intimidated for some reason, but it turned out to be an easy, kind of soothing recipe, with great results. It was a special treat, and comments ranged from "I'd bathe in this!" to "I hope you'll make this again."

Here's the recipe:

Savory Polenta
Recipe courtesy Alton Brown, 2004
Show: Good EatsEpisode: True Grits

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for grilling or sauteing if desired
3/4 cup finely chopped red onion
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 quart chicken stock or broth
1 cup coarse ground cornmeal
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 ounces Parmesan, grated
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large, oven-safe saucepan heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the red onion and salt and sweat until the onions begin to turn translucent, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Reduce the heat to low, add the garlic, and saute for 1 to 2 minutes, making sure the garlic does not burn.

Turn the heat up to high, add the chicken stock, bring to a boil. Gradually add the cornmeal while continually whisking. Once you have added all of the cornmeal, cover the pot and place it in the oven. Cook for 35 to 40 minutes, stirring every

10 minutes to prevent lumps. Once the mixture is creamy, remove from the oven and add the butter, salt, and pepper. Once they are incorporated, gradually add the Parmesan.

Serve as is, or pour the polenta into 9 by 13-inch cake pan lined with parchment paper. Place in the refrigerator to cool completely.

Once set, turn the polenta out onto a cutting board and cut into squares, rounds, or triangles. Brush each side with olive oil and saute in a nonstick skillet over medium heat, or grill.

I enjoy being a muse...

2009-06-19T11:10:00.001-07:00

Wow! My friend Jan offers today's Friday Five. What an occasion for smiling! She writes:

Jennifer recommended this book, which I got because I always value Jennifer's reading suggestions. The author of Life is a Verb, Patti Digh worked her book around these topics concerning life as a verb:
Say yes.Be generous.Speak up.Love more.Trust yourself.Slow down.As I read and pondered about living more intentionally, I also have wondered what this Friday Five should be. This book has been the jumping off point for this Friday.

1. What awakens you to the present moment?

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?

3. Which verbs describe your experience of God?

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?

5. From the book on p. 88:
If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149:
"Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."

Thanks, Jan!

My responses:
1. I awaken to the present moment by breathing deeply, moving slowly, listening carefully, and loving wholeheartedly.
2. Out my window: lush greenery (so much rain here!), torrential rain, a mallard duck, a swing set and the swing is blowing in the wind, a clap of thunder!
3.Verbs that describe my experience of God: to love, to mourn, to comfort, to dance with joy, to play with abandon, to live with intention.
4.I was an outspoken,loving, musical, curious, long-haired teenager. Where did that girl go? She's still present, and I catch glimpses of her in some of my daughter's actions.
5.What is the most challenging, frustrating, rewarding, fulfilling, tiring, energizing part of your life?
Bonus question later....after the rain.

Flickr photo from here.

Different Voices

2009-06-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've blogged about the Interfaith Women's book group that got started this spring through the congregation I serve. We've been sniffing around for some ways to seek greater understanding, and a mosque in a neighboring community received an invitation to come and chat about ways to collaborate. We've attended each others' worship services and some ceremonies, and out of those gatherings friendships are forming, and a group of women decided it would be a joy to read together.

So, off they went. They're getting reading to meet for the second time, having read and discussed Sharon and My Mother-in-Law by Suad Amiry. The book they will be discussing next week is The Lemon Tree by Sandy Tolan.

There's more in store-- I've heard about the beginnings of plans to engage in service together, and they've met for a picnic. One of these days, they might broaden even more and involve women from yet unrespresented faiths. Exciting!

Peace and understanding through reading and sharing. Make sense to me....

logos is from interfaithstudies.org

Life at fifty

2009-06-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Life at fifty is pretty wonderful, despite the fact that the start of this year has been a little on the "terrible, awful, no good, very bad" side, at times.

We're still waiting for DH to land a new job. Gotta say that we didn't think that we'd still be in search mode after six months. Nevertheless, there are hopeful signs, second interviews, nibbles here and there. It's been challenging for our family, but we are getting through this, and we will have learned a great deal about what matters most, how to be patient with one another,living with less, and recognizing that abundance is still a word we use and understand.

I've had six visits this week with members of the church who suffer from dementia/Alzheimer's/other memory loss. It's been fourteen months since my mom died, and the waves of grief persist, especially when I've spent concentrated amounts of time with older adults with memory issues. Much sighing...

One of the most noticeable parts of my healing (or lack of healing) around my mom's passing is the visceral reaction I have to visiting folks in ICU. My mom died in a hospital hundreds of miles from here. I have not visited it since her death and may never visit it again, but I have occasions to visit ICUs with some frequency, and entering and staying is a very great challenge. I hope I overcome this...

We've had some particularly challenging times this winter and spring with difficult pastoral care issues. It's been pretty hard work to think about good news, in light of what I'm invited to know. Perhaps this is a symptom of a need for a vacation. Perhaps it's just the reality of living with the reminder that everyone has a story, and often it is poignant and personal. I need to work on being more of a sieve and less of a vase.

Nevertheless (how I love the hope this word conveys!) it is good to be fifty. All manner of things shall be well, and often are. I am a brand new fan of Teavana teas, thanks to a lovely birthday gift, and I'm working my list of things I'd like to accomplish and enjoy this year. They provide a nice antidote to the stress of sermons and pastoral care and job searches and stuff.

Life is a Verb- 50@50

2009-06-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

I've just begun reading and working through a marvelous book called Life is a Verb by Patti Digh. On her website, she includes a list of fifty things she plans to do this year.

I turned fifty last week, and, I must say, it's pretty fun so far.
Nothing's changed radically, but it's a good place to be and there's lots more great stuff on the horizon.

With gratitude to Patti Digh for an endless storehouse of inspiration, here's my list of fifty things I'd like to do or learn this year:

1. wear contact lenses (mission accomplished: 6/2/09)
2. prepare polenta (done! 7/4/09)
3. finish a quilt
4. make pottery
5. effectively keep ahead of weeds in my garden
6. plan sabbath time gracefully
7. not allow mean-spirited people to rent space in my head
8. prepare excellent Asian food
9. play tennis every week this summer
10.walk a good distance every day
11.outfit a great craft area
12.catch up on reading Harry Potter
13.teach my kids to cook
14.become regular at Praying in Color
15.be a great prayer buddy
16.learn ballroom dancing
17.journal regularly
18.be a better blogger
19.resume sending birthday cards
20.take all my vacation/con ed time
21.connect with a great new project
22.learn to really live healthfully, finally
23.use the labyrinth regularly
24.keep in touch with Clarie by mail when she's at school
25.turn walking into jogging
26.lose 50
27.practice yoga
28. listen more closely to what people are saying
29.listen more closely to what God is saying
30.enter and complete a 10K
31. learn to take good photographs
32. play the guitar more regularly
33. become a wine taster
34. drink a martini
35. learn to bake bread well
36. repot all my plants
37. grow confident in decorating
38. eliminate paper napkins from our dining table at home
39. get Christmas gear organized
40. learn to knit socks
leaving these blank for now....for future inspiration....
41.
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50.

2009-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I have felt called to ministry for all these years is that no two days are alike and that being invited to stand close to folks at all sorts of different times is a great privilege. My colleague is preaching this Sunday, so I have the luxury of several extra hours to do some different things. I've paid several visits to folks, lingered a little longer than usual during hospital and nursing home visits, worked on worship planning for the summer, and straightened up my desk. I like the serendipity of experiencing different rhythms to each day and even different weeks. It works for me, although I'm always tired at night....

Today I have a couple of community meetings, am getting a haircut, and have a wedding rehearsal for a weekend wedding. The charming couple whose wedding is this weekend have chosen to include e.e. cummings' poem i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I feel glad to have a call, which is like a heartbeat, with me through these interesting days.

Like riding a bike...

2009-05-06T14:43:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I remember how to blog after all these weeks!
I hope it's like riding a bike....
It's been a month of racing around, and although it's still busy and hectic, it feels important to reconnect with my blogging friends.

Illness, a seemingly endless winter, DH's job search, and the first anniversary of my mom's death have all converged and having me thinking hard about my own personal goals for the near and foreseeable future. I think it will be wise to spend some time dedicated to goal setting.

I've been intrigued and inspired by Kathleen Fischer's book, Autumn Gospel: Women in the Second Half of Life. Containing articles of great interest interspersed with blessings, prayers and biblical reflections, Fischer (a theologian, counselor and spiritual director) writes with warmth and gentleness.

For instance....

"Endings are often a return to the beginning."
"In the practice of awareness, we allow ourselves simply to be and observe without the need to judge and change."
"Bodies have a tenacious memory of what has happened to us in the course of a day or a lifetime, how we have received and stored it."

I am grateful for this author's words.

I'll be back...

2009-03-21T05:39:00.001-07:00

These past three weeks have been filled with family visits and work;
some joys, some frustrations, but mostly a steady stream of people leaving or arriving. It's Lent, of course, too, and we have a great deal going on at church.
I'm writing a series of Lenten devotions at another blog (here) so there seems to be little time for the personal reflections I'd been getting better at posting here.

I'll be back, one of these days.
In the meantime, I'm wishing you well and keeping you in my grateful prayers.

photo from here.

Waiting and Hoping

2009-03-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

Waiting and hoping are so similar.

This Lenten journey of waiting is fraught with hoping for the residents of my home.
DH has been without employment since the end of January. His resume was scooped up by a potential employer earlier this week and he's at an interview this morning.
SBC packed his gym bag for baseball practice and will learn before school is out if he made the freshman team. I'm waiting for my father's flight to arrive from Denver, anticipating a lovely six day visit from him. They're little things in a global context, but they're pretty monumental in the lives of those interviewing and trying out and heading to the airport.

For those who wait without an end in sight, for those who wait for an outcome that might be fatal, final or unchangeable, waiting is agonizing. For me, it is a reality that I do not wait alone. I am convinced that I am accompanied on this life's journey, and I become more, not less, convinced of it over time. I am grateful in my bones for knowing this and for how real it feels.

This lovely picture is from makingthishome.com.

2009-03-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

I've yet to spend any significant time this Lent in any extended time of quiet reflection. I have a lovely quiet fifteen minutes in the morning with a cup of tea and Radical Grace, Richard Rohr's great devotional. It would be wonderful to have some longer stretches of time for prayer, meditation, praying in color. Instead, here's what's happening in my little corner of the world:
* show the new near neighbor pastor the way to the hospitals and nursing homes this afternoon
*meet with our two seminarians about their plans
*finish writing Sunday's sermon
*await results of SBC's freshman baseball team tryout (75 kids trying out for 15 spots on two teams...)
*pick up my dad at the airport tomorrow
*lead a presbytery workshop on Saturday for new elders
*enjoy a fun evening Saturday night with the confirmation class and their mentors centered around a game show theme: Are You Smarter than a Confirmand?
* preach and lead worship on Sunday
*enjoy a new members' class
*head off to Indianapolis for Spring Concert I of FBC's college concert choir tour
*return late Sunday night
* enjoy concert II in Chicago on Monday night with two of FBC's friends spending the
night with us.
*play day with all of them on Tuesday

and so on.

Good times.
graphic from Praying in Color.

Monday, Monday

2009-03-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

It was an action-packed weekend. Chaperoning the dance turned out to be a startling, yet fun evening. I was an excellent coat checker and refreshment refresher, but it was a little bit harrowing to wander around the actual dance. A thousand kids in a gym with music that made our insides vibrate was nearly as daunting as the gyrations of the masses. I've been living in a bubble... Our SBC reports that we were not at all embarrassing. I think we've fulfilled our obligation for the duration of his high school career.

Worship yesterday was a quiet beginning to Lent. Our wonderful organist played subdued music throughout the service, reminding us all again of the profound influence the music and the musicians have upon the entire worship experience.

I spent the early part of the afternoon with our More Mature Members group, out to brunch and am pleased to report that I made healthy choices therein. I made hospital calls and bought healthy snacks at my favorite grocery, Trader Joe's. In the evening, we had an evening educational program on addictions and resources to help individuals and families find help.

Overnight we had a small snowfall and today's day office promises some fabric shopping and more preparations for my dad's arrival.

So, with thoughts from the weekend swirling in my head and looking at the texts for next Sunday's lectionary, I'm pondering God's covenant with Abraham and Sarah, how congregations reach out to people living with addictions, and whether or not we should paint the upstairs bathroom the same color or change things up. So many decisions are made in crisis or at the point of transition. I find that's true in my own life. How interesting it would be to experiment with that a bit in Lent, and seek help or wholeness because it's a free choice, unaffected by an ultimatum or a catastrophe.

Flikr photo

Just an ordinary day....

2009-02-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

This is a weekend of manageable things. Some short hospital visits, some needlework, some close attention to great, healthy meals. I'd like to get a good,long walk in,and do some organizing in the basement. The weather here is cold and not that inviting for outdoor pursuits. In the evening, DH and I are chaperoning SBC's high school dance.

I'm reading a silly book by Bill Bryson called The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. it's a happy diversion in the midst heavy Lenten reading and study.

The discipline of WW is paying off well, with ten pounds gone. My friend Alison has also signed up and is positively inspiring. My goal this week is to track everything under the sun. I hadn't been tracking exercise, and doing so should be a good practice.

We're excited about a visit from my dad later on this week. We've not seen him since this summer. It will be great to have him here and to get ready for FBC's concert tour. We're able to see attend two of the concerts, in Indianapolis and Chicago Heights. Can't wait.

Photo from here.

Friday Forks

2009-02-27T13:03:00.000-08:00

Singing Owl asks the Friday five question at Revgalblogpals:
What five people/events have been fork-in-the-road occasions? What a thought-provoker!

In no particular order.....

1.
Feeling called to attend this seminary, rather than another. I received a wonderful education, but also met people from all over the world and several who became best friends for life.

2. Accepting a call to this church:
It was not my first call, but it was a watershed one for me, in that it was the first call where I felt my gifts made a critical difference in the life of the congregation.

3. Marriage...
I was busy pursuing adoption as a single person, with the blessing of the congregation I was serving when courtship and marriage arrived in my life like a snowstorm in August. Not at all what I was expecting, and certainly life-changing.
And, like the song from "Wicked", "Who can say I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

4. Upcoming fork in the road: job search for DH. What will it bring? What will it mean?

5. Eventual fork in the road: retirement location. We're fifteen years away, but nonetheless...where to? What to do?

Old School

2009-02-25T09:50:00.001-08:00

We've had a flurry of difficulties with e-mail and access to the Internet at work of late. On some days we can receive but not send e-mail. On other days we can send but not receive e-mail. We realize how incredibly dependent we are on e-mail at times like these. And although it's time consuming to make individual phone calls when an e-mail to a group would take no time at all, it is a good thing to be old school and have the benefit of a live conversation, complete with intonation. It's a good thing.

I'm not ready to give up e-mail for Lent, but the slower process of phoning has provided a nice spiritual practice on this day that Lent begins.

Friday Five: Break Time!

2009-02-20T09:07:00.000-08:00

Songbird lives where it's winter break time. So she asks, "Tell us how you would spend:

1. a 15 minute break
2. an afternoon off
3. an unexpected free day
4. a week's vacation
5. a sabbatical"

This is not hard.
1. A 15 minute break would include a book in hand and a mug of coffee or tea close by. Right now I'm reading Brueggeman's The World Militant. Or I might check my friends' blogs. Either way, the time would go quickly.

2. An afternoon off might find me fabric shopping (That's a real, live store!) or playing with fabric or walking.

3.An unexpected free day? I'd be here.
4. A week's vacation? Easy.
5. A sabbatical? Reading, writing, touring and investigating art in worship spaces, like this.

Coffee cup poster from here.

Earth Gospel: A Guide to Prayer for God's Creation

2009-02-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

My good friend Sam Hamilton-Poore has written a lovely book that offers a guide to prayer,meditation with scripture and reflections for four weeks--seven days per week with prayers for morning, midday, and evening.

This small volume is packed with great help and great insights from many such as Sallie McFague, Anne Rowthorn, some mystical writers, Mary Oliver and the author/editor.

I'm proposing that our Leadership and Ministries team, and perhaps our Session, too, use it as a guide during the second quarter of this year. Our stewardship year is divided into quarters, focusing on time and talents from January-March, our environmental covenant (April-June), observing Sabbath (July-September) and our fall financial campaign (October-December.)

I think we'll be the better for our shared attention to prayer and God's creation.

I remember

2009-02-13T07:46:00.001-08:00

The Friday Five invites us to pay tribute to our most memorable pets... so, here goes!

I regret not having photos of these pets to share with you. I will try to do them justice with descriptive language.

1. Our current patriarch is Chase, our 11 year old golden retriever. He is a good dog, though late in maturing. He is a dark golden, lovable, playful, not especially bright, but makes up for lack of acuity with a large, pettable head. These days, he sleeps more than he cavorts, but still has spunk.

2. Prior to Chase, there was Padzie, a golden retriever I picked from the litter before DH and I were married or engaged or even dating. Good friends help each other pick out dogs. Padzie was so smart and fun and taught our daughter how to walk, by standing beside her when she was a toddler and allowing her to use him as a walker/toy/guide. Padzie (which was DH's nickname in college and means "pal" or "buddy") was a gem. He left us too soon, because of illness.

3. We've had pets other than dogs, but we're dog people, and that's that. John the Hamster was a Christmas gift to our daughter when she was six. We were the go-to family for keeping the classroom guinea pig over holidays, so we thought we would do well to have our very own rodent. (Honestly, I thought we'd do fine. DH, sage that he is, thought otherwise. "No rodents! No guinea pigs with clawed feet! No! No!") But John the Hamster came to abide with us for a season. His nocturnal tendencies were just too much for some of us, combined with his nasty habit of chewing through plastic and unlatching his cage and running loose in the laundry room. One day, John was gone. I cannot tell you anymore, because I am in the witness protection program.
We had a guinea pig named Pinky that proved to be almost less lovable than John the Hamster. These are not happy memories. Back to dogs.

4. My first dog after seminary and on my own as an adult was Jefferson, known to the college campus where I was the chaplain, as Jeff. Jeff was all black, a mixed breed combination of beagle and black Labrador. He was a very good boy. I loved Jeff and, when I left the college where I served as a chaplain/faculty member, I was given a golden retriever named Simon. Jeff, Simon and I made a great trio until DH and I married. There's another story, too sad to blog.

5. Growing up, the sweetest mutt (a collie/shepherd mix) was ours in Raggil (Scottish for rascal). I think our first pets are very important and formative. Raggil was a sweet, sweet dog.

Nice to remember....

photo of someone's good dog.

Friday Five Favorite Things

2009-02-06T18:11:00.000-08:00

Songbird offers the following lovely challenge:

"In a week of wondering how various things in our family life will unfold, I found myself thinking of the way Maria comforted the Von Trapp children in one of my favorite movies. Frightened by a thunder storm, the children descend upon her, and she sings to them about her favorite things, taking their minds off the storm.

So, let's encourage ourselves. Share with us five of your favorite things. Use words or pictures, whatever expresses it best."

Oh!
Perfect timing!
It's been a difficult week...

Favorite thing #1:The scent of a freshly peeled/cut grapefruit

Favorite thing #2:Finishing a wonderful book.

Favorite thing #3:John Rutter's Magnificat, particularly et misericordia

Favorite thing #4: Golden retriever puppy fur.Anything about a golden retriever.

Favorite thing #5: Earl Grey tea, with just a splash of milk.

DH

2009-02-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Here's a tiny tribute to a fine person.

DH is a great guy. We met during the first week of seminary, twenty nine years ago and we became fast friends, through we never dated during our seminary years. We were part of a group of six inseparable pals who studied together, ate every meal together, supported one another as our hearts were broken and celebrated as they began to mend.

All six of us went our separate ways after graduation,DH to serve three small Presbyterian churches in Maine, and I to serve as a college chaplain and a member of the faculty at what was then a small Presbyterian women's college. Our other friends were everywhere from Fresno to Philadelphia and other places, too, but that was back in the days of inexpensive flights, and as six single young adults, we were an extension of each other's families. We were present for ordinations, family funerals, and often New Year's eves. It was a little like "The Big Chill" without the controlled substances.

A few years went by and there we were, officiating or standing up with one another at each other's weddings. Later it would be time to baptize each others' babies.

Five years out of seminary, I was invited to preach the charge at DH's installation at his second call at a Presbyterian church by the sea in New Jersey. His family was there, and a lot of our friends from seminary. It was a glorious weekend. He called me a few days later and made a small romantic profession. I thought it would be a good idea if we dated, since we never had dated each other. It was a sweet and memorable courtship, with a postcard from him every day between October and December and an almost daily phone call after 11:00 p.m., when the rates changed.

We were engaged by Christmas.

Two children and two golden retrievers later,twenty-one years have passed and we are still best friends. We've served the Church separately and together as co-pastors, but for the past five and a half years, I've been a head of staff at a multi-staff church in the suburbs, and DH had been on the development staff of a church-related institution of graduate learning...until two weeks ago, when both my DH and his colleague's positions were eliminated as part of a much larger plan to address the economic distress of their institution.

Times are tough for nearly everybody. I know that. Many members of the upper middle class congregation I serve have been directly affected by layoffs and cutbacks. It doesn't matter if one works for a bank or for a seminary; the economic crisis is real.

My dear spouse is one resilient guy. He has gifts and talents for ministry that far exceed my own. He's a delightful and careful preacher, an authentic and loving pastor, and ironically, one hell of a fundraiser. The problems are greater than one person can address. As a family, our needs are being met and DH will take this time to discern what's next for him vocationally. Will he return to parish ministry? Will he take the plunge again with development work? Will he teach? I'm fully supportive of DH choosing carefully-- because it's not a job; it's his vocation, and it's important to feel fulfilled in one's calling. I'm thankful that we have the luxury of time and resources to give him space to discern what's next.

So many prayers for so many people this day. So many prayers.

practicing what we preach...

2009-02-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

This is, certainly, the winter of our discontent.

This week alone, we have an endless flurry of hospitalized members with unanticipated illnesses and conditions.

A church member's mother was found dead in her home yesterday.

DH's position at work was eliminated ten days ago....the economy, you know.

Every single day we learn of others similarly affected in all sorts of business and industry, corporations and not-for-profits.

The number of persons seeking assistance from the church is growing.

These are hard days, to be sure, but it seems pretty clear that the journey is tempered by having some spiritual practices in place. Prayer and meditation and a faith community in which to abide have certainly made a difference in my own life at this time.

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